Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
