Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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