Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
