Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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