clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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