filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
