I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize