my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
