whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
