and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
