I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
