the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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