you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
