Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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