no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
