Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
