so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
