how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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