Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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