69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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