just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
