You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
