is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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