Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
