remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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