At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
