What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am midnight drunk by noon
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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