if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
