I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
