Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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