How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
