Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
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Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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