I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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