So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
