we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
