I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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