Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
