maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
