Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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