Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
