I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
