remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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