So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All the doctor said was why
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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