That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
