dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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