Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
