Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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