Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
