i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
