Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
