I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
