who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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