worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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