we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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