so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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