he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
