Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
