I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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