He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
