my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just come out here and I will go home with you...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
