So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize