I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize