sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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