ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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