He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
