when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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