I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
