But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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